Source: Conflict Vs. Mistake | Slate Star Codex, by Scott Alexander
Person A and Person B disagree. Why do they disagree?
Do they want the same thing, but one or both people are making a mistake in reasoning due to a lack of information or understanding?
Do they want different, incompatible things in conflict with one another and at most one of them can get what they want?
Can they even agree on what they disagree about (goal or solution/process), or is one or both of them convinced that the other is being deceitful in their arguments and reasoning?
From the comments:
Mistake theories are best suited to the task of avoiding negative-sum conflicts. Conflict theories are best suited to the task of winning zero-sum conflicts.
having power is more important than convincing people that your ideas are correct
http://ncase.me/trust// (a web game about trust)